Well... after years and years, it's finally happened. The bunny loving activists have found their way to my front door. Not trying to sound mean or insincere, but these people kinda freak me out. Have you seen some of these people? Really? Oh, then by all means allow me to show you...
Tell me these goofballs won't give you nightmares. I made the lab boys draw straws to see who would go talk to them. Sure enough, our youngest lab jockey draws the short straw and gets sent out. He lasts all of about 45 seconds before he comes running back in huffing and puffing and out of breath. Once he calmed down he was able to explain that the use of rabbits shouldn't be used in makeup factories and they were throwing candy and Cadbury Eggs in protest. Poor kids was horrified. So I did what any good boss would do... I sent him back out until he collected enough candy for all of us! Once our sugar rush was complete, I took it upon myself to go out and and explain to these poor souls what we do and that we in way work for or have any ties to the makeup industries. The look on their faces was priceless... confusion mixed in with anger and just a dash of despair, but before I thought about calling the police to get these people off my property... I had a stroke of genius. I offered them all some free pizza coupons (expired of course) to do a little job for me. They were all ready to go just thinking about the pizza they probably won't be getting. I needed them to go to the "What's New
" area and see if they can find our July bunny mafia member. What better way to search out a bunny than a bunch of goof balls in bunny outfits... absolute genius... I know. As this crazy crew goes out and performs their tasks... I need you guys, the EBN audience to go out and do the same (minus the bunny outfits). Go to the "What's New
" page and report the bunny's location to the Fabshophop authorities. I'm sure I don't have to say that you can ignore the locations of the bunnies walking around on two feet standing five and half to six feet tall wearing ridiculous costumes... right? I don't have to say that... right? Okay then. Find the REAL bunny and report his location.
I need to think about keeping those protestors around for bit... they might come in handy.
EBN News anchorman...